i’m glad the shit that lives in the ocean lacks the ability to leave the ocean because most of it is scary as fuck
"I’ve heard so much about you!"
people that don’t put cases on their iPhones have the kind of confidence that I need
"My response to the “I am not a feminist” internet phenomenon….
First of all, it’s clear you don’t know what feminism is. But I’m not going to explain it to you. You can google it. To quote an old friend, “I’m not the feminist babysitter.”
But here is what I think you should know.
You’re insulting every woman who was forcibly restrained in a jail cell with a feeding tube down her throat for your right to vote, less than 100 years ago.
You’re degrading every woman who has accessed a rape crisis center, which wouldn’t exist without the feminist movement.
You’re undermining every woman who fought to make marital rape a crime (it was legal until 1993).
You’re spitting on the legacy of every woman who fought for women to be allowed to own property (1848). For the abolition of slavery and the rise of the labor union. For the right to divorce. For women to be allowed to have access to birth control (Comstock laws). For middle and upper class women to be allowed to work outside the home (poor women have always worked outside the home). To make domestic violence a crime in the US (It is very much legal in many parts of the world). To make workplace sexual harassment a crime.
In short, you know not what you speak of. You reap the rewards of these women’s sacrifices every day of your life. When you grin with your cutsey sign about how you’re not a feminist, you ignorantly spit on the sacred struggle of the past 200 years. You bite the hand that has fed you freedom, safety, and a voice.
In short, kiss my ass, you ignorant little jerks.”
*drinks vodka* *gags* “ugh I hate vodka” *drinks vodka*
my dog is getting scared of the storm so he’s hiding in the cat basket
YOU’RE NOT A CAT
YOU DON’T EVEN FIT IN IT
are we just gonna not talk about soulless black-eyed family emoji
Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you still have time to sleep
*video doesn’t load within 2 seconds* well i guess i’ll never know
"id date a fan" doesnt mean "id date a 12 year old who knows more about me than i do"
do you ever get so hungry that it feels like your stomach is caving in
i have three moods
if you are attracted to me you are required by law to tell me.